I've seen things I wish I hadn't.
I've done things I wish I could take back.
My heart and palms were feeling all pins and needles as I try to explained my knotted past.
I know I'm not easy to hold onto, for my heart is scattered with thorns.
Some nights I will be quiet and you wont know how to pull me from my weeded mind.
Some nights I'll forget what you see in me and lose my balance.
And some nights I will trip over my own feet and apologise for the mess I made.
I wonder why I was thrown into the thick of it all
My bad choices had caused me to suffer this way.
Happiness. Honesty, Loyalty and Integrity;
I've lost it.
I've learnt that if you want to love someone, you've got to learn to accept their past
because the struggles they went through yesterday made them who they are today.
And as I'm sitting here alone and hurting, I wish I have a second chance to start over.
A chance to be happy. That's all Im asking.

Don't you ever grow old

Growth is painful. Change is painful.

Let us be reminded that we are no longer growing younger.

Unless we're Benjamin Button-ing which I wish I am.

Isn't it scary to know that every second counts.

Haunted by the sound of the time ticking,

Our body starts to age and wrinkles getting more obvious than ever.

It keeps me awake every night to think that oh I have 30 more years or 20 or 10 more years to spending time with my love. We never know when we did go to heaven.

Have you ever wonder what's life after death? Will we still continue to live like how we are living right now? Or all the memories will fade behind us? I don't want to die.

It's so scary to even think bout it yet I can't help not to. If I could choose the way I die, I would choose to die together with my husband. I don't think I'm able to continue life without him

God I wish I could fast forward things and just stop at that perfect moments forever. Living within the sweet moments. 

Best things comes to those who waits

They say best things comes to those who waits..

But how long do we have to wait?

Its a question only time could answer.

Have you ever want something so bad but it's just not your destiny yet?

Spending years of scrimping of saving, just so you could  finally wake up and find that your adulting has finally paid off.

Just when your about to get ready and serious to make that big step things just have come crushing you down like a tornado.

Would you be selfish and heartless? Because you worked so hard to save for your future home and marriage.

Or you would sacrifice everything to save your family's financial crisis?

This is like a tug-a-war. 

 What more can you do when you are taught that we should not give up easily, to braved up and face the world , learnt that family comes first and money is not everything. What will you do?

If only we could avoid all these mind disturbing problems as easy as ABC.

 Its not that easy after all. It's never like a fairytale story you read when you were younger. Or those movies you watched.

Im tired of living in a temporary place.Moreover, sleeping in a different room and bed in a so called foreign land most of the time. I want to come home to a place where I could finally call it my home sweet home . To be able to have things the way you want it. A home where you can share especially with your love one. A privacy you've been yearning to get all this while. A place where happiness and love will grow. A place where you can experiment all the food you've been dying to cook.

You dont know how much a real home mean to me.

The One

I know I may not be good enough for you,

and I don't say all the right things.

But at least can I be everything you have been looking for.

I want to be the one you dint see it coming.

The one who gets under your skins.

Who makes you unsteady.

Who makes you question everything you have ever believed about love.

I want to be the one you are infuriatingly and inexplicably drawn to.

I don't want to be the one who tucks you into bed:

I want to be the reason why you can't sleep at night